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  • The marriage question you’ve always wanted to ask

    This is the marriage question I would get every single day, if people said what was really on their minds.

    "How can I be happily married without really trying?"

    It depends, what do you mean by "really"?

    Given the choice between doing very little to improve their marriage, and doing a lot to improve their marriage, most spouses (husbands) will usually give the same answer, "Is this going to get back to my wife?"

    Based on that, here is the way to improve your relationship without hardly trying.

    Warning: this answer involves no drugs, illegal substances or physical violence, yet it's amazingly effective.

  • Why can

    “No.” I hear you say. “The problem with my kid is he won’t get off the couch, he doesn’t do anything.”

    Exactly! Think about what you are asking of him. Isn’t what you are telling him to do a lot easier than the problems his inaction is creating?

    “Yes, for sure, that’s what is so infuriating!”

    Exactly, so if he was interested in making his life easier, he would listen. Therefore we must conclude, he’s not interested in easy. Rather, he’s cut from the same material as Kate Rutherford.

    This is part of a real conversation I recently had with a father pulling his hair out from what he perceives as a lethargic son. His sons’ inaction is piling up one giant obstacle on top of the other, in what the father clearly sees as an easily avoidable mess. At this point, the son faces some serious consequences, not least of which is prison. To the father the solution is easy, stop making your life so difficult.

    And if his son were a monkey, he would listen.

    “So why does the son insist on doing things that make his life more difficult?”

    You aren’t getting this are you? Read this article from the beginning again.

    You see, when your kids were little it was cute, interesting and meaningful that they tried to get out of their crib, jump off the stairs and other relatively adventurous stuff. In fact, we encouraged it. We didn’t tell our two year old, “Listen, if you play your cards right you can stay in this crib for the next 20 years.”

    We didn’t tell him, but we didn’t need to. Children, unlike monkeys need the challenge.

    The problem is, at this point, you and your child have divergent goals. You want them to find peace and stability and then live happily ever after. They want to find happiness, then find happiness again, and then again.

    “O.K. Rabbi, I get your point, so how do we get them to be happy?”

    There are two challenges that face EVERYONE, ALWAYS.

    Having a face-to-face with a belligerent teenager about what they were doing last night, or her poor choice of clothes, bad friends and respect (or lack thereof) is a challenge - "No kidding!"

    But playing golf on the PGA tour is also a challenge.

    The first will solve some real problems in our lives and the other is only dealing with fictitious ones.

    And here’s the rub, what we choose is what our children will choose too.

    In our teenagers mind, a good video game is a challenge just like prepping for tomorrows test. So, given the choice, the X-box is going to win.

    That is, if his father chooses the golf.


  • Teenagers killed off the dinosaurs....

    Let me tell you the problem I have with evolution.
    First, I don't have a problem with frogs coming from fish, and I don’t have a problem with birds evolving from lizards.
    I don’t even have a problem with dogs evolving from scummy divorce lawyers (my latest pet peeve).
    My problem with evolution is this: How can anyone think teenagers evolved from anything?
    The whole concept of evolution is that the previous species is inferior to later ones. That would mean the previous incarnation of teenagers was worse than the ones we have now.  

    I just find that hard to believe.
    Anyone who has experienced these precious moments of teen-parent angst knows what I mean:
    The Look, as in, “I can’t believe you and I are related.” Where do they learn that? It must be in the DNA. How can teenagers all over the world spontaneously know what look to do?  Do they go to school for that?  What-ever!
    The ever-amusing “I hate you, and can you drop me off at the mall with your credit card” combo. Funny how they fail to see the irony in that.
    The classic line, “You are the reason I need therapy!”
    All of this makes it hard for me to conceive of a human-like species worse than a teenager.
    So, I submit that teenagers must have killed off the dinosaurs. Life in Jurassic Park got too comfortable, the kids grew up, the livin’ was easy, and the world entered the Teenagic Period. 
    A new generation of dinosaurs evolved, the Teenagosaurus. This genus was so self-absorbed and impervious to reason, that the dinosaurs couldn’t survive it. The only way for life to go on was to evolve, because the only thing worse than a teenager, is a teenager with big teeth. 
    In this artists re-enactment of a tragic father-son dinosaur scene, you see father dinosaur trying in vain to explain to his “evolved” teenage son that if we are to survive as a species, you can't sleep till 2 p.m. The son doesn't listen, of course, perhaps because Mr. Dinosaur is unable to wave his useless little arms in protest. So, in the end, they became extinct.


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