How many of these statements are true? I eat more than I should. I get angry more than I would like. I don’t work out as often as I need to. I waste more time than I care to keep track of. If any of these are familiar to you, then you can well appreciate how unproductive self-ridicule is. Beating yourself up over your mistakes, whether verbally or not, is sort of like accidentally hitting your thumb while hammering in a nail. Would you then switch hands and hit the other thumb in revenge? Absurd. We think of ourselves as one whole unit not separate parts. As such, our legs are not separate from our stomach any more than one thumb from the other. And even though we sometimes do things that are a little self-destructive, we try to avoid self-abuse. We may not feel like working out and we may eat a little too much, but we don't see our legs as enemies any more than our stomach is. We are not at war with ourselves, rather we are all on the same team.
There are only two things in life that a person cannot put in less than 100%. And work is not one of them. I am sure you already have realized that many of your employees are NOT showing up with a full tank of gas. It's why paying for services is rarely a bargain - because the employee can easily adjust their efforts in their favor. It could very well be that you are fine with this arrangement, however, 99% is not the same as 100. The mistake many leaders, employers, coaches and even parents make is that you can't get to 100% by taking 99 and working harder. As such we cannot even access our own 100% on sheer will power. That final little piece, which makes all the difference in the world, is reserved for the believers. I don't mean Bible-belt believers, although it can include them. I mean Apple believers, Yankees believers, even tree-hugger believers. There is something about a person who owns an Apple that they actually believe the product is more than it's buttons, software and logo. You might call it fanatic because their relationship becomes more of a commitment and they find it hard to be objective and open minded. However, with everything else in life, people can choose what they want to be committed to. So we find some are 100% behind their country, their religion, their team, even the NRA. But there are only two things that people cannot choose to NOT be in 100%.
By Linda & Richard Eyre, for the Deseret News In a recent Deseret News article titled "Good romantic partners are likely to be good parents," clear connections are made between how well people do in their marriage relationship and how good they are at parenting. The article references a British study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. "A father who has a good relationship with the mother of his children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with his children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier," said W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and one of that study's authors. "Indeed, the quality of the marriage relationship affects the parenting behavior of both parents." It seems obvious when you think about it - someone who is good at one relationship is more likely to be good at others. But it is more than that.
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I recently did a Google search: United Nations Child Abuse. Why? How many times can you tell your kids, "If you really think this is abuse, write to the United Nations?" I mean, you can't expect them to actually do anything! Maybe if I help them fill in the forms they could get refugee status on some Caribbean island. Therefore, I am pleased to tell you my labors paid off, and I found the UNICEF web site. These are the people who "really care" and, as their heading states: CHILD PROTECTION FROM VIOLENCE, EXPLOITATION AND ABUSE Perfect. However, as far as I can tell there's no place to report that you are being abused. How ridiculous is that! The cynical side in me would say that if you have access to a computer, you can't be doing that bad. But that would not be the sympathetic dad I want to project to my kids. So, after scrolling through categories of abuses, like children in war-torn countries battling the ravages of abject poverty and disease, not to mention child trafficking, I couldn't find anything that fit the struggles my kids are plagued with like not having the latest i-gadget. The point of all this is actually more reflective than my tone might suggest...
Let me explain why dieting is just like world peace, and just as difficult. No one has ever achieved anything of any great import, not least for the world, because they simply liked that idea. Given the choice of wanting to lose weight and feeling like eating a doughnut, the doughnut is odds favorite to win -- that's why Dunkin-Donuts is still making money. If the best you can manage in your goals are things you would like to do, then your feelings, that have always stopped you in the past, will continue to win out.
What I find fascinating about this obituary, is not simply the story, but that a street beggar's death got a full page in the New York Times. Celestine Tate Harrington, died Feb. 19, 1998 from being struck by two cars as she traveled down the middle of the street on her gurney in Atlantic City. She was 42. Harrington was born with stunted, useless arms and legs. Her teenage mother had attempted to have an abortion, but the procedure went wrong and instead Celeste was born with limbs that stopped working below her elbows and knees. She traveled face down on a motorized hospital-style gurney, steering it by using her head. In 1984 she began working the Boardwalk using a slot machine bucket. She was cited dozens of times by police for begging, soliciting, making noise or not having a mercantile license. But in 1989, city officials agreed to relax insurance requirements for her and create a special "event" permit under which she could perform legally. In 1996 she published a book...
is a mountain of resentment. It's a most inconvenient truth, success attracts resentment. I don't mean the gritted-teeth resentment of your old high school buddy who is still making minimum wage when your home computer company goes public allowing you to retire to a private Caribbean island at 23. It's not the people who resent your success that's the problem here, rather, it's the other way around. Let me explain. The higher up the success ladder you climb, the more incentive for people to rip you off. Simply put, the friends you make in poverty are more likely to be motivated by only friendship. It's not that rich people can't have friends too, it's just that there is an incentive for less than scrupulous people to wax your car. This doesn't mean you can't have a resentment free life. It's just that success, in-of-itself won't do it. Success is a good thing. But success without resentment is an even better thing. So how do you rid yourself of resentment? Judaism has been around for 3,500 years and achieved success over success. Therefore, we've had to deal with a lot of people who offered to wax our cars and ended up taking the radio. To express it mildly. Some people think they can squelch a good resentment by settling the score. But anyone who has tried that path can attest, it doesn't keep the total number of resentments at bay. Like zombies in a "B" movie - one goes down and three pop up. No matter who you are or what you can do to others, there is always someone else who has more clout or is stealthier. Therefore, the resentment free path does not start with payback or revenge. Then how?