If we asked 100 wives, "Are you married to a wimp?" how many do you think would say "Yes." Take a guess. In my totally unscientific study based on 20 years in marriage counseling, I estimate 99 out of 100 would answer in the affirmative. The other one would have to consult her lawyer. From where did this malady arise? It's easy to blame your in-laws. Mostly because it’s just easy. But there is a very deep and meaningful reason your hubby’s parents raised a wimp.
I remember visiting the stately home of Henry VIII. He was the richest man in the world in his time, but he had neither air conditioning nor indoor plumbing, no Tylenol nor a heated Shiatsu massage chair. We are all richer than the richest people of the world of just 75 years ago. What we take for granted today, kings and queens of Europe could not have envisioned. In fact, everyone reading this article is well within the top 1% of the richest people walking around the planet today. That means 99% of the world’s population think that if they had our money, they would have nothing to complain about. So why don't we feel that rich? If you and I were born deaf and it cost $10 billion for an artificial ear, we would ogle and drool at the thought of being rich enough to afford such a thing. Could a private jet compare to hearing music or a bird’s song in the morning? So why don't we appreciate the ears we have? Why do we look at the people who have limos and private jets as having so much more than us?
Despite what the Wall Street Journal might tell you, things have never looked bleaker for the top 1% wealthiest people on this planet. By that I mean you and me. Take a look at these quadrants: 1) The Rich get Richer 2) The Poor get Richer 3) The Rich get Poorer 4) The Poor get Poorer One of them is not true.
Which is worse, to lose parts of your mind like your cognitive skills or your ability to remember, or is it worse to lose a body part like a limb, ear or eye? Take the slow elevator to the top floor of the Empire State building with a person whose mind has seen better days and you might consider throwing yourself off when you get to the end. Losing your mind is the pits. However, as a culture we spend inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to maintain our bodies in an attempt to delay the inevitable effects of wear, tear and age. However, we do precious little to keep our minds healthy and nimble even though the same rules of depreciation apply. What doughnuts and soda do to the body, television and the general lack of mental exercise will do for the mind. What most people don't appreciate is that your elevator buddy didn't intend to get in this state and unless you do something different, then there we all go. Not a cheery thought. Let me again compare it to physical exercise. If I didn't know any better, then this would be my ideal work-out regimen: Click the Link
A lot of what you hear on parenting sites about kids being online can be described as something like the bubonic plague coming to a town near you. Most parents' attitude towards social media is akin to holding back a slowly crumbling dam. They would like to stop the flood, but they also know it's a losing battle. However, I'm here to tell you that social media (if used correctly) can be one of the best parenting tools since Sunday morning cartoons. Ever since human beings could scratch their heads trying to figure out what their progeny was up to, parents have wished for a daily report on their child's thoughts and actions -- something like the daily security assessment the President gets from the CIA. Your child may think of Twitter, Facebook, et. al., as the latest cool experience. But for a parent, they are better than satellite pictures over Iran. The problem parents are facing is they don't know what to do with the information once they've got it. Sounds like the old Chinese proverb of being careful of what you ask for. Therefore, I present here some practical approaches to the new era of what I call Facebook Parenting.
Failure loves blame. Success cannot tolerate it. That's because success and blame can't exist in the same person. Whenever wildly successful people talk, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, Richard Branson, to name a very few. They all speak in the same basic language that precludes them from using the "B" word. Thus, remove blame and complaining from your office and watch your productivity soar. Blame is appealing because it's easier to blame someone else than to tackle the obstacles they are paid to solve. Therefore if they can blame, they will blame. And if they do blame they won't try. And they will repeat this process wherever they find opportunity. Why work hard to achieve something when they can feel just as good by blaming someone else? It's not difficult to see how much productivity and creativity is being sucked out of your office by the complainers. ------------------------------------ This is a question I recently received: "Good stuff as long as complaints are separated from the facts."
Even though I try really hard not to ask easy questions, if given the choice, which of these three things (apples, oranges, or private jets) would you enjoy the most? Without hacking your Facebook or Twitter accounts, I am here to tell you would enjoy the jet the least. “How does he do that?” I can hear you ask. Sorry, if I tell you I will have to go into the witness protection program for my own security. All kidding aside, no one enjoys a private jet more than an orange. No one. Especially the people who have them. Just because it’s more expensive doesn't make it more fun. If you don't actually own a private jet, let me explain what they are like. Are you sitting down? Good, that’s what a private jet is like but probably not as comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, private jets and flying first class are very nice, but when the plane lands, it lands for all the passengers no matter how far back the seat goes. Let me qualify that….
In a rare moment of praise, Nasrallah, the Secretary-General of Hezbollah, said that the Israelis, "Study their defeat in order to learn from it." He contrasted this to Arab states that, "do not probe, do not ask, do not form inquiry commissions... as if nothing has happened." When one of the world’s most heinous anti-semites comes in praise of the Jews then surely we are fulfilling our mission as a light to the nations. However, this thing that Nasrallah is so googly-eyed over – from where did we Jews learn it? You might say it’s obvious, and it is, once it’s pointed out to you. In fact, it’s so obvious (when it’s pointed out) that someone as vile as Nasrallah cannot hold back his admiration despite his extremely overt hatred of anything Jewish. It’s obvious, but it isn’t natural. What is natural is what many of us do -- hide, deny, ignore, and if that doesn’t help, place at the bottom of our to-do list. Me too. If only Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah understood how wrong he was. We don’t study our defeat to learn from it, we study our defeat to love from it. This is not just the path to success, it’s literally the doorway to G-d. This is the path to sublime bliss, or what we call Holiness. The entrance to the Holy of Holies is through what we did wrong, not what we did right. The great Holiness of Yom Kippur exists in the space we make through our mistakes.
This question comes from Julie Harnish: “My sister wants to do a 5 minute 'huddle' with her 16 year old son every morning to 'check in' and hear what might be challenging him that day. Looking for 3 questions that would maybe help to prompt his memory or what he has on his agenda for the day...” Winston Churchill bemoaned trying to understand what was really going on behind the scenes in Russia. Obviously he didn’t have teenage boys.
It’s important to clarify here, when I say that Jews are not happy, I don’t mean they are not busy, which is what Jews think is the synonym for happiness. Ask a Jew if he is happy, and he’s going to say, “Of course, look at how much I have going on.”