Having an affair is akin to opening an airplane window halfway across the Atlantic, the results being almost identical. But whereas most people understand the concept of being sucked out of a pressurized chamber 30,000 feet up, they don’t understand why affairs happen. What you need to know will shock you.
How many of these statements are true? I eat more than I should. I get angry more than I would like. I don’t work out as often as I need to. I waste more time than I care to keep track of. If any of these are familiar to you, then you can well appreciate how unproductive self-ridicule is. Beating yourself up over your mistakes, whether verbally or not, is sort of like accidentally hitting your thumb while hammering in a nail. Would you then switch hands and hit the other thumb in revenge? Absurd. We think of ourselves as one whole unit not separate parts. As such, our legs are not separate from our stomach any more than one thumb from the other. And even though we sometimes do things that are a little self-destructive, we try to avoid self-abuse. We may not feel like working out and we may eat a little too much, but we don't see our legs as enemies any more than our stomach is. We are not at war with ourselves, rather we are all on the same team.
There are only two things in life that a person cannot put in less than 100%. And work is not one of them. I am sure you already have realized that many of your employees are NOT showing up with a full tank of gas. It's why paying for services is rarely a bargain - because the employee can easily adjust their efforts in their favor. It could very well be that you are fine with this arrangement, however, 99% is not the same as 100. The mistake many leaders, employers, coaches and even parents make is that you can't get to 100% by taking 99 and working harder. As such we cannot even access our own 100% on sheer will power. That final little piece, which makes all the difference in the world, is reserved for the believers. I don't mean Bible-belt believers, although it can include them. I mean Apple believers, Yankees believers, even tree-hugger believers. There is something about a person who owns an Apple that they actually believe the product is more than it's buttons, software and logo. You might call it fanatic because their relationship becomes more of a commitment and they find it hard to be objective and open minded. However, with everything else in life, people can choose what they want to be committed to. So we find some are 100% behind their country, their religion, their team, even the NRA. But there are only two things that people cannot choose to NOT be in 100%.
This is the marriage question I would get every single day, if people said what was really on their minds. "How can I be happily married without really trying?" It depends, what do you mean by "really"? Given the choice between doing very little to improve their marriage, and doing a lot to improve their marriage, most spouses (husbands) will usually give the same answer, "Is this going to get back to my wife?" Based on that, here is the way to improve your relationship without hardly trying. Warning: this answer involves no drugs, illegal substances or physical violence, yet it's amazingly effective.
