I know what you are thinking, "Rabbi, you need to take a course in marketing." "I don't need a book on how to ruin my marriage - I already know how to do that!" As it says in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe, the secret of flying is to fall to the ground.... and miss. Warren Buffet's long standing business partner, Charlie Munger, says the same thing in business, know where you will die (in business) and don't go there. Similarly, the key to being happily married is to know the things that ruin your marriage and simply stop doing them. Simple. Save yourself the trouble of marriage counseling - get this book and don't do what it says!
If we asked 100 wives, "Are you married to a wimp?" how many do you think would say "Yes." Take a guess. In my totally unscientific study based on 20 years in marriage counseling, I estimate 99 out of 100 would answer in the affirmative. The other one would have to consult her lawyer. From where did this malady arise? It's easy to blame your in-laws. Mostly because it’s just easy. But there is a very deep and meaningful reason your hubby’s parents raised a wimp.
My husband won’t change his bad habits, poor judgment, passive aggressiveness, ghastly driving, and even his old underwear. Google the phrase “my husband” and there are more issues than there are husbands. Ladies, I am going to tell you something, but first it’s important that you are sitting and not holding any sharp objects. Ready?
Of all the great inventions that men can claim, this has got to be one of the most useful. How on earth could a guy function if he had to spend the night in the car!? It's no wonder men were so grumpy in the middle ages and started so many wars! Why do you think Isaac Newton was napping under the apple tree? Obviously, he and Mrs. Newton were not on good terms. This must be what he had in mind when he posited that like objects attract and opposites repel - he wasn't referring to planets, he was talking about his domestic problems!
I want to talk to you about one of the great unsolved mysteries of science. Your husband. He is clearly deficient in so many areas. OK, that’s no mystery. But here is the real mystery. How can he be so unabashedly beloved by his mother with all of his many faults? Despite what he […]
Or, what to do when your husband doesn’t do what you asked. AGAIN! Al Capone was once asked why he was a gangster. His answer was, “You get more from a gun and a handshake than you do with a handshake.” The truth is however, force is a very weak instrument for persuasion. Let me explain. There can be quite a few reasons your husband is not doing what you asked, other than he just isn’t bright enough to get it and using force is not going to change that reality. In marriage, force (and this is REAL important), whether that be yelling or other unpleasant tactics never creates a more perfect union.
.....SCREAM AT YOUR HUSBAND! Other similarly ineffective techniques you might want to try: a.Giving up b.Shouting louder c.Comparing him to his father If what you are doing isn’t working, then doing it louder and more often is not going to change the outcome -- at least not for the positive. Let me try and explain.
You don't have to believe me but this is from an actual Amoeba high school classroom that I made up:Teacher: “About two getrillion years ago life used to be divided, there were men and there were women.”Johnny Amoeba raises a protrusion and asks: “Excuse me teacher, what’s a “man or woman?”Teacher: “It’s hard to explain, but it used to be that life was divided, some Amoebas liked beer and war, and some liked tea and redecorating. The ones that liked beer became men and the ones who liked tea became women.”Class: “Weird!”Teacher: “Yes, but that’s why we evolved, because it became too difficult to get your husband to pick up his socks.”Jane Amoeba: “What’s a sock?”
Here at Bliss HQ, our scientists do not squirm from taking on the really big issues of life. As such, we have isolated the gene that makes men incapable of remembering birthdays and anniversaries, and we are genetically mutating it with the gene that enables them to remember 20 years of football scores. Early experiments in male mice are proving very promising. One interesting behavioral change in the mutated mice is that they tend to move things in cabinets without asking why they can’t find anything.
One of these is a Rembrandt and the other is bad graffiti. If you listen very carefully, I will show you how the one on the LEFT is the graffiti, and the one on the RIGHT is priceless. The plague of Western marriages is they put these two pictures in the wrong order: before they got married they thought it would be a Rembrandt, but after marriage they think they got junk graffiti. It's not, as most people think, that they have such bad marriages. But rather, it’s that we are comparing them to unrealistic Hollywood romance movies that have as much reality in them as a Bollywood romance movie. In other words, your marriage is only bad because you are comparing it to something that doesn’t exist.