Let me give you an analogy.
I once had a mouse problem in our kitchen. I put out traps, etc, but the mouse kept evading me and over the course of some time managed to do a fair bit of damage.
Out of desperation my wife finally got me to admit defeat and we called an exterminator.
What do you think we said to him?
I know that sounds like a silly question, because all you can do is ask him if he can solve it. Not only didn’t I blame him for the problem, I did’t blame the mouse either. What I did was deal with the problem, I wasn’t looking to find someone to pin it on, just solve it.
So, the exterminator come out and for a few days we still weren’t getting anywhere.
I felt vindicated – this was no ordinary mouse!
Again, I did’t blame the exterminator, he tried just like I tried. Eventually we talked it out, tried other methods and I am pleased to say the mouse problem went away.
This is life. You try, if it doesn’t work, you try something else. Blame is what you do when you give up trying.
If you keep trying with the same person or tactic and it isn’t working, then blaming him is obviously wrong (and ineffective) because it’s your fault for not engaging in a different process.
When all is said and done, blame is really a way to avoid dealing with the situation.