Marriage is like a pond
“This is really good, clean water. The difference between this and tap water is very small, just a few impurities, although tap water is drinkable. But what if you add even more impurities, it’s still is drinkable. But at a certain point, when you keep adding impurities, you can’t drink it anymore.
That is marriage, you let in a few impurities, and it’s still ok, and you get used to it, then let some more in, and more, and at some point…..
Why do people complain so bitterly about things their spouses do that they would never discuss on a date? Because those are the things that have just been added to the water that make it undrinkable.
I have to tell you, a lot of marriage classes focus on resolving those little annoying issues, I rarely do. It’s not that it isn’t good to resolve those issues, it’s just that I feel it doesn’t really help. What people need is to purify the water. If you aren’t focused on making your marriage sparkling clean, then you are going to need a lot of sugar.
The nature of marriage is such that you will always encounter impurities. Little things that annoy you, the first one never makes the water undrinkable, but that’s not the point, you have to clean it out now.
One of those phrases that is a marriage killer is “Agree to disagree.” When you agree to disagree, you are basically letting in a few little impurities.
You can agree to disagree in business, with your neighbor, with your sporting buddies, but never in marriage. You can agree to talk about it another time, but letting an issue slide in your marriage is like drinking sludge water, yuk!
I can’t tell you how many people I meet who tell me there are some issues they just can’t discuss with their spouse. Do you think that was true when they were dating?
The good news is they can purify anything today.
Marriage, just like water, can be purified. Start slow, but start following up on issues you normally let slide, you will be amazed after a short while you will be able to see the bottom of the pool….. and it sure is pretty.