To be independent, needed, or needy.
The first choice, to be independent, is the choice that gets most votes in the Western world. This is the person that needs no one and no one needs them. They are self-sufficient, in perfect equilibrium and at peace with all. When we picture crown princes or movie stars or the mega-rich, this is how they are portrayed — living the idyllic life on their own private desert island without a care in the world.
The next choice is the needed, and even though this group is portrayed positively, they nevertheless don’t get much traction. Think of Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa. They are but a few of the honored and praised people who have made an impact on millions of people. Nevertheless, a simple perusal of your average grocery store check-out isle will leave you hard pressed to find them on the cover of any popular magazine. That’s reserved for the first group.
Finally we get to the needy. No one wants to be in this group. They are never praised or glorified. If they are the feature of a movie, then they are the comic relief. If G-d forbid you get the reputation of being one of these, it’s a label not easily jettisoned.
However, no one intends to get here, yet here is where many end up. What gives?
It’s simple really. There is no first group.
There is no such thing as an independent person except in a Hollywood script. Those we think who are in this category are only pretending for the camera — it’s necessary for their career or stock portfolio. But when it’s off the record they are really in the needy category.
The truth of existence is this — no country, no people, no culture, no family, nor any one person can be independent. No one has, nor can they attain, everything they need to live alone.
The more a person tries to be independent, the more needy they become.
You can’t get what you really want out of life without other people and the more you try to live life on your own, the more desperate you become. That’s what we call needy. This becomes completely counter productive, because the more needy anyone becomes, the less anyone else wants to be with them.
The mistake people are making is this, they don’t need other people to take from, they need other people to give to.
In other words there are only two choices, to be the needed or the needy. And the way to not be a needie, is to be needed.
Go help someone, today.