From our children’s perspective, we have become their problem. How on earth did this happen?
It’s easy for a parent to worry about every one of their children’s problems, but when a parent does that they just add to the child’s list of something else to deal with. It’s sort of like having a picnic and trying to figure out what to so with Aunt Rose who doesn’t stop complaining about the flies. Except on this picnic, you are the Aunt Rose!
In other words, instead of helping your children tackle the obstacles of life, you yourself have become their obstacle to be surmounted.
If you would rather problem-solve with your daughter how to climb the mountain safely, instead of having them problem-solve with their friends how they can do it without you finding out, then you have to answer this question:
"What is the worst thing that can happen to them?"
I will give you a clue, health and death are at best #2 on the list.
Once you are clear on that, then everything else will become tolerable.
The worst thing that can happen to them is that they don’t make their own decisions. Ultimately, it’s better that they make the wrong decision than no decision at all.
If your greatest worry is that they only make the right decisions in life, they will either listen to you and never decide, or decide to avoid you.
The choice is yours.