Many people feel that when they were single they hardly complained, but once married, they find issues in their life all the time, and their complaints seem to be constant.
It must be, people commonly conclude, that if after marriage there is more to complain about, then, they were better off single. This is a mistake. It’s not that there are more problems when you’re married, it’s just that when you are single, you have no one to complain to.
For example, I have a GPS, and it sometimes takes me down a dead end (new roads plus old maps can sometimes equal bad directions). However, I have never complained to it. Not because I am not annoyed, it’s just there is no place in the machinie to take complaints!
I do complain to my wife. Does this mean that the GPS is better than my wife? (Don’t answer that.)
REMEMBER THIS: A spouse is not there for you to complain to.
As much as it’s easier to complain after you are married, it’s equally as distasteful to hear.
Once you identify your spouse as someone with no capacity for accepting complaints, then, just like the GPS, you simply won’t complain.
In fact, it’s not that you will hold it in — but complain in your mind. It’s much more like the GPS. When your GPS makes a mistake, you don’t hold in your complaint, it’s more that your complaint has no ground on which to grow. You just don’t start thinking about complaining. And in truth, the car ride is a lot more enjoyable that way.
It’s that simple, once you determine in your own mind, your spouse is not there for you to complain to, the car ride of life, becomes a lot more enjoyable.
THE GOLDEN RULE: It’s easy to complain, but its a lot more rewarding to compliment.
The difference between “complain” and “compliment” is three letters. The word “compliment” has three letters more than the word “complain”: “MET.”
The secret to a happy marriage is understanding that your job is to make sure your spouse’s needs are being MET. If you realize this, you will compliment.
But, if you feel the marriage is about having your needs MET, you will complain.